I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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