But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
