Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Actions speak louder than pants.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
