yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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