shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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