I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
