i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
