So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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