I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
