sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Alive.
So much puke
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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