Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's shark week go big or go home
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
