i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
