I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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