If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
