Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
