i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
