Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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