then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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