Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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