direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
