Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
