just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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