I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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