The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
