Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
