Slut skills are useful in every country.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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