the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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