I hate all girls vehemently.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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