Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
