Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
