her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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