You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
