I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will pee on everything he values.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
