i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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