Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
