Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
