Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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