Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize