Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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