Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
