She said her name was "party"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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