I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
