what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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