He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
