I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
