What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
