I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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