i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
