put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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