She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
is it fun? or sober?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize