he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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