Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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