The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
