Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
