your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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