Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
