So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
