I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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