i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
